Ojay/Rookinella/Havoc/Banana/Bigjobs/Happyshopper/Lawrence...
It all started with 'Dark Satanic Mills' Art Exhibition at Vernon Mill.
Ugggggg
5 nights in Hotel Ford Ka,
2 falls in a pooey drain and getting covered in excrement
1 horrible mill owner
2 arguments with the most abhorrent man in the world
15,000000 calories of McDonalds
23 artists
5 nights of constant japery with the two funniest guys in the world
11 Banana portraits
16 hot chocolates
6 bottles of lemonade
1 very temperamental lift
1 run in with the police
4 charity buckets full of coinage (about £50-£60 i think, not bad)
4 hours in the Palace Hotel
1 bag of art and belongings in the bin
1 exploration of the bin to get them out
200+ pieces of beautiful artwork
Dozens of lovely people who turned up to support us
Rookinella - A group of wonderful friends who have made the whole experience run smoothly and helped me laugh in the face of the stupidity of life.
Posing for publicity shots
Mendo came along with his giant camera and tripod and put together some very smart poses to photograph for the press.
We tried to dress smart so we looked like we actually knew what we were doing but it was so damn cold, 3 denier tights was never going to be a success....especially with nothing underneath them....
ExhibitZ
Havoc, Ojay and myself posing next to the fanny and some international and drainage photographs. I had to stop them from fondling the plaster lady. Dirty boys!
Peoples
Bloody hell, even Mendo turned out, along with Spark
Speed & Dweeeeb setting up
In case anyone hasn't experienced Dweeb and his timezones, I'll explain..
In order to get him to arrive anywhere on time, you need to tell him to be there three hours earlier than you need him to be so I said before 3pm.
Dweeb, Mrs Dweeb and Speed arrived at 5pm with seconds to spare as we all clubbed together to get their work displayed in time for people coming to see it.
As soon as the place closed we needed something to occupy the evenings, so as darkness drew in we headed on out.
We went out for pizza like some kind of bizarre modern family.
We ordered a table for five so imagine the confusion on the guy's face when he came along with five plates only to be told that Banana would not be dining with us tonight.
He was just there for the scintillating conversation :)
From Thurs to Monday we rinsed the City night after night,
re-visiting a few old faithfulls along the way
Some places were an absolute no go despite our best efforts.
It all kicked off on the Thursday night as we met up with Bigjobs and spent the night roaming around tunnels & live buildings in town..
The constant change of temperature was making us all feel giddy and after a fifth round in the tunnels, I thought we were all on the verge of passing out!
Keystone cop/cat & mouse chases ensued..
Another night we scrambled up the side of a building and into an old textile mill, it was the most ridiculous access ever, we never bothered with any pics from there.
A couple of hotels and apartments provided much amusement on most evenings, including a certain
City Tower ;)
One of the nights we somehow managed to get trapped in a certain stairwell, as well as winding up in the same staff area twice and being busted by the same woman.
Running around the posh surroundings, we stuck out somewhat but evaded capture miraculously. You know when you're exploring and a muggle walks past and out of nowhere, you have to conjure up some imaginary normal conversation? Well, there was lots of that lol!
We managed the quickest ever bust in Salford as we tried to
'enter' the old Police Headquarters.
Police Radio "We have a report of four males hanging around the old police headquaters" HEY!
PC
"What you upto?"
Ojay
"Errr Nothing, were photographers"
PC "
I don't believe you, your'e metal thieves"
Ojay
"Were just taking pics of old buildings" (Whips out Dslr, much to the amazement of the 4 officers)
WPC
"Oh, our Rosie does that"..
Cue the 5-0 jumping back in the 2 vehicles that had promptly appeared out of nowhere and f00ked off!
"Freeze! I'm Ma Baker, put your hands in the air and gimme all your money"
Checkin' your emailz
"Banana respects all cultures but he aint gangsta"
Reducing your white blood cells
We didn't last long in this place either ;)
...5 long days and nights were closing to an end,
'Take Down' happened a lot sooner on the Monday than expected..
As we waited around for people to collect their artwork in freezing conditions a few regulars stopped by (Tweek, Host & The Lovliest Jelly Fish) amongst others, we banded about a few ideas
Then Rooks said the magic words DRAINS...
"Hulme Flume"
"And I meant it. I know I'm a bit of a dirty skank but believe it or not, I used to be a complete hygiene freak and had real trouble going anywhere without having some lame panic attack so drains were always a complete no go area but since getting my act together manning up a bit, I found the best way to conquer all fears is to face them head on and what better way to do this than by poo diving!
After a bit of investigation and some strategic barricading, myself and Ojay went underground whilst Havoc stayed up top to keep an eye on proceedings.
Ojay scampered off down the tunnel like a little excitable ratty whilst I tentatively edged my way along the tunnels, making sure no part of my body apart from the soles of my feet were touching any surfaces.
However, this plan failed completely and I went over like Bambi on ice-skates into a particularly slippery sewer outfall.
I made a noise like a toddler does when they fall over and scrape their knee and whined until Ojay helped me out of the poo pit.
Looking back now, it was perhaps an over-reaction but it was incredibly scary at the time" :o
That's All Folks!
